is it possible to become a bestseller through osmosis?

I must say that I just experienced the most star-studded week of my life- for a nerd like me. I'm not all gaga over actors or musicians (altho check back in if I ever run into zach braff, johnny depp, paul simon, leonard cohen, tom waits or any one of the Wiggles), but authors- good, brilliant, moving authors- really get my adrenaline pumping. The week started out last Monday night with a little known comedy writer named David Sedaris. Now, if ever there were a ROCK STAR of the book world, it is he, Mr. Morsel-of-Wood-Sedaris. I laughed so hard I felt like I wouldn't need to meditate or pray for a week. It was good, extremely left, irreverent, slightly foul humor that I oh-so-desperately needed to improve my blood flow, my marriage, and my faith in humanity. Thank you Modlin Center for scoring him TWICE even if he will never again grant interviews to lowly alt-weekly reviewers like me!

Next, Tuesday night, I sojourned to the ever-so-glamorous auditorium of Short Pump's illustrious Deep Run High School. The hassle of trying to park amidst the football demographic was totally forgotten and forgiven when Dominican-American author Julia Alvarez took the stage. She was beautiful, elegant, passionate and truly inspirational. It's too easy to say someone's inspirational these days, but I think Ms. Alvarez took it to a new level. Naturally some Henrico mom is trying to have her book banned...don't get me started...but Julia Alvarez continues to beat the odds. After escaping a dictatorship, immigrating to the US, learning a second language and trying to assimilate in NY and becoming an award winning best selling author she went back to the D.R. and built a library in the mountains, teaching all of the children and adults how to read while promoting organic coffee farming. I cried the whole way home because this is a woman who has never allowed her passion to die or dwindle, even while the odds were stacked against her.

So that was just the start of the week. Thursday through Sunday I immersed myself in the James River Writer's Conference at the Library of Virginia, meeting and schmoozing and hanging with and being intimidated by and forcing myself to try to act natural with any number of NY Times bestselling authors, screenwriters, magazine writers, agents and editors. I even moderated a panel loosely titled "Commercial v. Literary Fiction" with 2 editors from Algonquin, 1 editor from Simon & Schuster and an agent on the big ass stage with a microphone. Don't get me wrong, I love talking to people, I just don't love talking to people in front of a lot of other people while the whole conversation is being recorded. I was nervous as hell, made an egregious gaffe or two, but survived and lived to tell the tale. Just don't ask for details, because I don't remember them at the present moment.

Who knew that David Baldacci was funny? That people actually read the articles in Playboy? That Kate Jacobs practices dialogue by pretending she has 2 Barbies talking to each other? That Adriana Trigiani leaves General Hospital on because she read somewhere that dead people exist on the same wavelength as electricity? That Taylor Antrim could be "painfully attractive" while stringing coherent sentences together? By and large it was a productive, fun, stimulating, thought-provoking, butt-getting-in-gear kinda weekend. I was truly impressed with the masterful coordination and seamless execution of the event as a whole. I even found that I really liked a number of people I didn't think I'd like, and for someone striving to be less judgemental, that's a really good thing. There's truckloads more I could say, but my brain and body and soul and heart and mind and fingers are still digesting a lot of the information that came my way in the last 7 days. Here's to hoping the brilliance I swallowed will also recycle.

a mid monday morning evaluation of life in a list

#1) Well. Big surprise. I still love not driving an hour a day thru rushhour to go sit at a desk. Who wouldn't? I like not packing a lunch in the morning. I like dropping by to get my books & mail, like the Hollywood Dad of the office. "Hi Kids! Here are some delicious homemade chocolate chip oatmeal bars. Love ya! Bye! Have fun working!"

#2) Yesterday my live-in Hungry Caterpillar Henry ate 2 bananas, a peanut butter & honey sandwich, a baggie of choc teddy grahams, 2 peices of turkey bacon, 2 scrambled eggs, a green apple, a granola bar, a handful of pepperoni, a chunk of turkey and a tupperware of tortilla chips. On second thought, maybe I'd better get a job.

#3) I am reading or preparing to read or skimming or plotting out or wishing I could plagiarize the last d. sedaris book, a fun, light read called "Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children & Parents," 2 books to prepare for the panel discussion at the JCC in Nov: Songs for the Butcher's Daughter & The German Bride, Alan Cheuse's "The Fires" (NPR critic we are thrilled to have on the Writing Show in Jan), Jancee Dunn's "Enough About Me" and...... a lot of illustrated books about planting pumpkin seeds and alligators living under the bed.

#4) I am thrilled to go see David Sedaris tonight, Julia Alvarez tomorrow night and attend the James River Writer's conference this Friday & Saturday, moderating a panel full of esteemed agents and editors.

#5) I just joined Face Book so it's going to take an iron will and a lot of chocolate or something to tempt me away from the freakin' computer and out into that crazy land called the real world. And I don't mean the TV show.

#6) I used to hate October. It used to mean the world was turning towards darkness and cold, the terror and insecurity of school and dorms and hopeless crushes, the onslought of a cold, endless, shivery misery. But now it's my favorite month of the year, so beautiful and fabulous and job-free. There's the State Fair and Halloween. There's the JRW conference and the Lib of VA literary awards. My son will turn 4 and my mother will turn 62. I will celebrate a personal anniversary that is more meaningful to me than my age or my astrological sign or the fact that I was born in the year of the hare, all of which are good and decent and affirmative in and of their own. I will celebrate no longer falling for jerks and allowing all of my fantasies to turn into techni-color nightmares. I will applaud "selling out" and "settling down" and not moving to a different state every time things got a little nasty, instead sticking it out and finding out what the hell my mother meant when she said to me all those years ago when I wanted to move from Alaska to the desert, "But Valley, the real journeys are inside of you."